Alcoholly!

"Time, don't let it slip away,

Raise your drinking glass

Here's to yesterday"

-Aerosmith -

On the first day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me …

Already, the first line of the ancient well-loved carol discriminates half the population – the single half! The ditty leads us to believe that everyone has a True Love. Well, what about those that are still looking? Bah Hambug! I think Scrooge had the right idea after all…

I’m thinking of boycotting Christmas this year.

You see, I don’t like Christmas as an adult! Firstly - there are the pairings. It’s never been more clear to me as now when I have just finished writing out my Christmas cards …. (having to post them to the UK takes time, not that I’m terribly organised. Then again, it could be the Virgoan in me).

To my distress, it hit me that what used to be merely "Nicki", "Katie", "Chris" and "Andrew" now reads "Nicki & Greg", "Katie & Daz", "Chris & Chi", "Andrew & Monica" … you get the idea. Those that used to be part of my London urban family have now doubled – either happily married, blissfully engaged or ecstatically shacked up in sin … One does wonder if there’s still any room left for me.

As you well know - I’m still solely yours. With nothing but a bottle of wine for company.

I’ll repeat it – Christmas as an adult really sucks! And not just the added responsibility of buying gifts … and getting much less in return. Isn’t this also the season for giving? I’m not seen anything in my stocking for years now! (And all those who used the excuse of "we can’t find anything 6’ tall in this country" – I was only joking!)

There used to be so much to look forward to at the Yuletide season. Carolling practices used to start in SEPTEMBER, leading to weekly gathering with so much to plan and do.

Then there was December itself. Gone are the days when I used to rush home from school, to excitedly don on my little red carolling skirt to sing to the masses. I was more excited about what happened after, of course.... Where I was allowed to have late dinners with the older guys (in the spirit of Christmas and all) and come back in the wee hours of the morning. From the age of 13, I had a different crush for every Christmas … and "Christmas Bride" had a new meaning for me with every season.

But more than that, the other carols ring true for me these days -

"Once again, as in olden days,

Happy golden days of yore….

Faithful friends who are dear to us,

Will be near to us, once more.

If the fates allow."

Those same carolling friends are also now married and scattered all over the globe with their own little groups. It used to be that we were only overseas on our studies, and would come back for the Christmas holidays and Christmas would be our Christmas, together. But now … we’d be lucky if we caught sight of a handful of familiar faces.

Christmas isn’t Christmas without the belting out "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" with the 3 guys (you know who you are!) doing their dodgy versions making the front-line chorus girls burst out laughing instead of keeping in tune. Or the late night mamak sessions and day long shopping for gifts for our manifold friends. Christmas isn't Christmas without you all. Are memories all that we're left with?

Where are you, Christmas?

Now my 16 year old cousin is doing those same rounds, talking about the same type of boys and activities. And I can only listen and smile wistfully for my own "days of yore." The groans I used to get when I asked for my favourite carol "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" … the groans I used to give when we were to sing "Oh Holy Night" when the sopranos had to hit those high notes. (I used to mime when we got to the latter houses!)

And slowly, the focus from the huge group of friends have changed to a more centred core – the few friends still around after all these years, and family, quietly in the background but ever present.

Ric - who can still tell you the embarrassing things I did when I was 15. (I’m denying the Planetarium incident until our graves!). If I do ever get hitched, this guy is not going near a mike! Remember when I painted your toes a shocking pink when you were asleep? Why can’t we be as stupid and silly anymore? Life was so much more fun then. (Just so you know, he got his revenge. He locked me in the bathroom and hosed me down with freezing water for that little misdemeanour.)

Melchiz, my best friend growing up since he had the misfortune to sit next to me in Form 1. We are different people now, but he will always have a place in my heart.

Lyn, so far away now. I think the last Christmas we spent together was in 2001, in your house. I wonder when the fates will allow us time together again.

After SPM, it used to be the 8 of us. Once people left for foreign lands, became busy professionals with their own, new lives … leaving just us 4 from the "happy golden days".Actually, 3 if you count the fact Lyn is no longer here in KL. And the (dis)count goes on.

Deck the halls with bottles of bevvies ….