Bequeathing Bourbon

CJ surprised me today with the strangest request. As I’m currently under pressure at work, and awaiting the axe to fall, I’ve been chanting the following all day:

“I’m going to die…. I’m going to die…. I’m going to die…. I’m going to die…. I’m going to die….”

It has obviously served to inspire her. Not even a little bit hesitant, CJ asked me what I’d leave her. When I couldn’t think of anything – still living off my parents and all (basically owning nothing!), she graciously suggested my bed. Ah, my place of slumber is indeed a place of unfulfilled fantasies and long-held desires. (Unfulfilled as in I’d been the only occupant … ever!) It’s a custom made teak creation with the requisite four posters that I’d long dreamt of, inspired by the many romance novels I’d read.

Also, being king sized, it’s much too big for little old me, but probably perfect for the 6’ CJ! Sorry, mate, it’s staying with me as long as I’m alive. And given my taste in men …a king-sized bed is very necessary! I have one requirement (one obvious one, that is!) and it is HEIGHT. Not the easiest thing to fulfil in this country!!

But believe me, I have paid my dues! The Rotten Ex was 6’4” and we shared a single STUDENT bed for 2 whole years.

I've never actually dated anyone less than 6’ feet tall, if memory serves me (and be warned, I'd been accused of having a selective memory!). A constant bone of contention for my (much) taller best friend who frequently accuses me of swimming in her very small pool. (More like puddle!)

However, you’d be surprised to note that my Mr. Darcy is not quite 5’8. (He insists on 5’10”, but you all know how men easily exaggerate inches, or lack thereof!) I’d always been warned that if I’m too fussy (with one requirement?) I’d get the direct opposite of what I asked for… And truth be told, if I ended up with Mr. Darcy, I would.

I have come to surmise that attraction can make one loopy in the head. (Yes, this is my mature conclusion.)

And by the way, CJ, if you should go before me (choi! choi! choi!) you know what I want. (Ahem. B is for both baguette and bling. Put them together and you get ….) Just so you know, while our time is limited on this earth, I’m not quite ready to go just yet. There’s yet things to do, places to see, people to meet… lives to change...