Chapter 1 - Champagne Wishes & Caviar Dreams

I’ve had a list since I was a little girl. No one can convince me that no other female has crafted a similar list, whether or not they make it public knowledge as I often do (thought filter process just doesn’t work with me!). As for me, my list has just been further enhanced the older I get, not shoved back to the recesses of my memories, more suited to the adult professional woman of the new millennium I aspire to be.

Oh, did I mention - Independent Female with no NEED for a Man? Er, no. While there is no NEED … there is certainly a want for that happily ever after.

Anyway, here’s my list:

1. The Bling - Tiffany & Co

I’m NOT ashamed to admit I yearn for the same cut as Mrs. K-Fed … she MUST’VE picked it out herself … all square-cut 2 carat blinding white diamond on a double white gold diamond encrusted setting. All the same, I might be tempted to squeal "Yes, yes, OH YES!" to just the little turquoise box. No matter who was holding it. One must remember not to drink too much if such blessed occasion should arise.

2. The Dress - Vera Wang

I’m still giving this one some thought. Fashions change with the times, and I like to think I’m very in-tune with the latest trends…. From the late eighties to mid-nineties, it looked like the huge tulle skirt and endless yards of satin and lace, inspired by the late Princess of Wales, style icon and deceased legend. However, in my new 2006 eyes, rereading a magazine article about her dress and perusing the photographs of her "happy" day recently, I cringe. I cringe for her and all the women that tried to emulate that style. It looked like a bride had thrown up the wedding cake.

I'd hide the wedding pictures.

I’m not walking down the aisle dressed like a meringue; neither are my relatives and best friends going to look like a confetti factory in peach and pink taffeta. Though I often tease my best friend CJ, who prefers sensible attire to fussy female wear. I tell her I’m putting her in a pink Little Bo Peep-esque gown. Only kidding, CJ, really. Am sure Vera would be kind to us both …

3. The Venue - Location Location Location!

This I’ve had to struggle with. In my years in England, I made my then almost-fiancée (or strictly speaking, my First Love, a.k.a the Rotten Ex) swear we’d be getting married in a castle. Or failing that, an English style country manor house. As he lived near Stowe, and we spent many a happy summer (okay, two summers) dreaming of that very day in its grounds, I thought it perfect. In view of the fact the Rotten Ex has absconded his role of Mr. Darcy, for lack of heart - the English wedding is off, and we’re back on track to my Irish Castle and original groom, Mr. Darcy.

However, now that my English/Irish dreams seem far behind me, I’ve had to look closer to home. Malaysia is gorgeous. I always said I’d only ever properly live in two places. Kuala Lumpur or London. For the past three years now, it’s been Kuala Lumpur.

What’s not to love about Kuala Lumpur? A delightful mesh of East meets West, and my very own Cosmopolitan City! So, should I tie the knot here, my dinner reception will be nowhere but the KL Shangri-La. (KL Hilton is no doubt, amazing, but I’ve my heart set on the Shang. When in doubt, always, pick the Shang!)

4. The First Dance

The current song of choice is "The Way You Look Tonight". Not original, but weddings are all about tradition, and in case you haven’t noticed a theme, I’m a traditional woman at heart.

My usual type of man is the one holding his whiskey, looking arrogant in the corner of the bar and certainly, way too cool to dance. The dream is, he’d be looking at me affectionately as I boogie to the beat (I can do a mean "Beep" a la the Pussycat Dolls.), jealous that he didn’t have my devil-may-care attitude (and dancing skills). The reality is, he’d be looking disdainfully down his nose at the drunken dervish on the table top (ce moi’) and shaking his head as if to say "I don’t know who that woman is."

But this is my wedding fantasy, and my chosen Mr. Darcy would suddenly morph into Fred Astaire (or a hetero Rupert Everett a la My Best Friend’s Wedding) and whirl me across the dance floor in the passionate giddy throes of being a Husband.

My Husband.

5. The Proposal

I’m not (too) fussy. As long as he goes down on one knee when I least expect it, be it a public place (Tamarind Springs!) or when we were alone under a moonlit beach and pledges eternal love. Oh, and flashes the requisite bling from the requisite turquoise box and answers to the name of "Mr. Darcy" (or at least the attributes!) …. I’m ready to say YES.

(Quoting Shakespeare or Byron is a plus...)

6. The Groom

Hello? Have you not been paying attention? Mr. Darcy of course!!! Fortunately, I have met Him (I think) and I do genuinely feel in my bones that he’s The One. He’s met me too … but UN-fortunately, he doesn’t seem think I’m (his) One. Or doesn’t allow himself to think that I’m The One for him. My romantic heart wills myself to believe that it’s only a matter of time, and in the meantime, there’s no reason why this (still) single girl can’t have fun while His Highness cottons on.

But for now, yes, the check box for groom remains empty.

However, life is not too bad for a Singleton in today’s modern world … but only if we lived in our cocoon. In Malaysia, if you’re above 25 and are not seriously dating anybody (hence, there are no very real plans to head down the aisle at some point in the near future) – people around you panic. As the whole world and its sister plan weddings and drops babies, us 1979 babies who have yet to even realistically plan the plunge, are objects to be pitied (or vilified?).

Am I too fussy? And why shouldn't I be? I’m only choosing my LIFE PARTNER. It’s a life sentence, and I WANT to spend it with the RIGHT One. Is that too hard to understand? To quote my favourite heroine, "I’m looking for something more extraordinary than that." And until I find that, I’m determined not to settle.

My married friends look at me with a demented sense of calm serenity and urge me to "give it a try! It’s amazing." Yes, I would like to, but the choice isn’t MINE, people! Like it takes two to tango, two hands to clap, TWO … to make a marriage.

I’d never been good at math, but even I know that I equals one.

But until that day … and I must believe this day will come … I am determined to make the most of my single status. I have a full social life that doesn’t revolve around a partner’s schedule. I have girlfriends (much fewer these days, I do admit!) that I can call at the drop of a hat to go out and get lashed. I eat where I please, when I please, not having to cater to someone else’s whims and fancies. (I remember the chips & beans v pasta dinner debates very well. Not to mention the beer v vino, cricket v Sex & the City – the remote control is MINE!!!! Ah, you get the point!)

I can spend my entire month’s salary on shoes and have no one to lecture me. I have great male friends for company. I even have a dreamy-eyed doctor, who I "date" on occasion. The proverbial "Friend with Privileges", which suits us both, well enough. (Ah but the story on Dr. Dish … will have to wait for the next instalment.)

While I may go out and get that retriever for myself sooner rather than later, I will not be replacing Mr. Darcy anytime soon with a bunch of cats.