Flaming Fate

Freak of Fate or Date with Destiny?

"Everything comes too late for those who only wait."

-Elbert Hubbard-

There was this freakish forward sent to me today. I don’t know if any of you know which one I’m talking about. It’s titled "The Chinese Horoscope" and it’s chillingly accurate. Without scrolling down, you’re meant to answer a series of questions and then at the very end, it explains what each answer means for you personally.

When asked to list down 2 separate people at 2 separate numbers, I’d put down Chappie (who’d I’d been seeing a lot of since we met – no romance as yet, but I’m having a blast, and that’s most important thing, right? Besides, 5 times in a week for people who'd just met has to be some kind of record, don't you think?!) and of course, Mr. Darcy. Then later on, I was asked to list down 2 songs. I soon discovered, each song corresponded to each guy.

For Chappie, I was told this is a new relationship that may bring me happiness and his corresponding song was "Pour Que Tu M’aimes Encore". (Il Divo, of course!) Roughly translated, it means "For you, I’d love again." (I got a Bien! on my last French test!) As for Mr. Darcy – well – his song was "Buttons" ("You keep fronting, saying what you’re going to do to me, but I ain’t seen nothing.") and I was told – this is a relationship that would never work.

Well! That be the end of that, methinks!

Mr. Darcy has been having a rough time of it lately, and all and sundry know why. However, my pride stands in the way of me picking up the phone and asking him how he is. I don’t want to be just another googly-eyed gossip, which is probably how he’d view me, seeing as I haven’t so much made contact with him in a year. (Neither has he attempted to get in touch with me … on his own accord, that is!) But yes, my heart goes out to him and it must have been a terrible past couple of months especially.

But it is my experience that the Mighty only fall so far. I think this is a mere glitch that he’ll pick himself right up again, and dust off the flack soon enough. However, I do hope this episode and his fall from grace may finally peel the blinkers off his eyes and see his fair weathered friends for what they really are. The girls, especially – the Tart (of Malicious Mai Tai fame) & Gang, who were only too happy to throw themselves at him when he was in power … will they be around to pick up the pieces when he needs someone?

I can answer that right now. No bloody way. You see, the snakes he surrounds himself with are only after what he stands to offer them – the allure of all that power and might of his surname, the polished background and ticket to a luxury lifestyle. If you take away the bottomless pockets, the last name, and the posh car – would they even look at you twice?

More than all that, or perhaps, despite of that (I cannot deny - I do like the car!) - I like him for the fact Mr. Darcy knows (and read!) who Enid Blyton is (though Noddy has to be my least favourite character!). He can converse intelligently about literature (always a plus in my book). He can quote Shakespeare. He recognises Byron. We even support the same football team – how right is that! (Perhaps he’d not have the same sympathy for my poor Crouch, and yes, I can’t blame him! But once a Red … always a Red!)

Above all, we bonded over our common longing we still have for our lives waiting for us back in London. Malaysia is the home of our families, where we will always be so and so’s son and daughter … but we made London ours. No last names or family help.

Solo effort. An effort we both take pride in.

Perhaps we both really don’t want to do what our parents have mapped out for us, but are stuck in this career path just the same. You fear you will never live up to your family reputation, and I fear I lack the gumption and the courage to ever succeed.

We’d lived in the same places, went to the same schools – just never really met each other until we returned home to Malaysia. Perhaps the time was not right, not yet … or perhaps it’s never going to be right?

Only Time will tell … but from where I sit, the sand is fast passing through the hourglass.

"Take a chance, to recognise, that all of this, could be yours."

– "Buttons", PCD-